[Anna NicLeòid] Cuiridh mi geall gun robh Ballet Shoes gu math eadar-dhealaichte bhon an togail a fhuair thusa?
[Iain Urchardan] Bòtannan Argyll a bha oirnne nuair a bha mise beag.
[Anna NicLeòid] Na làithean a bhodraig thu le bòtannan.
[Iain Urchardan] Sin e! Gu tur eadar-dhealaichte, dh’fheumainn a ràdh. Thogadh mise ann an Burgh an toiseach, baile beag air taobh sear Na Hearadh anns Na Bàigh. Cha robh rathad mòr a-steach ann. Cha robh solais an dealain ann. Cha robh uisge a’ ruith tro phìob. Dh’fheumamaid a’ dol dhan an tobar agus mar sin, bha e gu math, gu math eadar-dhealaichte bhon a’ bhaile-mhòr Àtha Cliath.
[Anna NicLeòid] Agus dè seòrsa cur-seachadan a bh’ agad?
[Iain Urchardan] Bhithinn-sa a’ cur mo mhàthar às a ciall fad na h-ùine, bhithinn a’ dol a chluiche aig aibhnichean, bhithinn a’ dol sìos chun a’ chladaich gu na geodhannan agus a’ plubadaich mun cuairt mar sin fad na h-ùine, a h-uile h-àite far nach bu chòir dhomh dhol, bhithinn-sa a’ dol.
[Anna NicLeòid] A thaobh a bhith a’ leughadh a-nise, an robh ùidh ann a bhith a’ leughadh an uair ud?
[Iain Urchardan] Cha robh ùidh agam-sa ann an leughadh idir. Na h-aon rudan a chanainn a bhithinn a’ leughadh ’s e irisean le dealbhan annta. Mur a biodh dealbhan annta, cha robh e a’ dol a dhèanamh cus feum dhòmhsa, bha faclan leotha fhèin ro lom agus mar sin, bhithinn-sa leughadh nan irisean a bhiodh ann airson balaich mar Commando agus Victor ’s rudan mar sin. Eil fhios agad? Bha mi ag iarraidh a bhith nam ghaisgeach, ’s bha mi ag iarraidh faicinn cò ris a bha beatha a’ ghaisgich coltach.
[Anna NicLeòid] Ach bha sgeulachdan cudromach ged nach robh thu a’ leughadh, bha na h-irisean a bha sin, ach bha sgeulachdan ionadail cudromach dhut cuideachd, nach robh?
[Iain Urchardan] Tha sin fìor, sin an riochd anns an tig na sgeulachdan thugamsa tro bheul-aithris. Bha an dòigh sin fhathast gu math beò far an do thogadh mise agus bu toigh leam eagalach nuair a bha daoine ag innse nan sgeulachdan.
[Anna NicLeòid] Mar sin dheth, bha cur-seachadan gu leòr a thaobh a bhith a’ cluinntinn nan sgeulachdan. Dè a’ chiad leabhar a tha thusa air taghadh dhuinn a-nochd? Dè a’ chiad leabhar a tha thu a’ dol a shealltainn dhuinn?
[Iain Urchardan] Tha mise air fear a thaghadh ann an seo leis an ainm Wild at Heart sgrìobhte le fear à Canada, John Eldredge.
[Anna NicLeòid] ’S tha adhbhar pearsanta agad airson an leabhar a tha sin a thoirt a-steach, nach eil?
[Iain Urchardan] Tha, tha sin fìor. Bha an leabhar seo uabhasach, uabhasach cudromach dhòmhsa a chionn ’s gun do chaill mi m’ athair nuair a bha mi dà bhliadhna a dh’ aois. Agus dh’fhairich mise an toll mòr a bha sin on a’ chiad thuigse a bh’ agam gun robh mi air a chall ach bha an t-eagal orm guth a chantainn ri daoine timcheall orm mu dheidhinn an tuill a bha seo. Bhiodh tu a’ coimhead caran bog. Agus mar sin anns an dòigh uabhasach Gàidhealach, chleith mi gun robh an toll seo na mo bhroinn agus, bhithinn a’ cur ìomhaigh orm gun robh a h-uile càil cho dòigheil ‘s a ghabhadh a bhith. Ach tha fios a’m gun robh mi uair an dèidh uair an dèidh uair nam bhalachan a’ smaoineachadh rudan mar “Saoil an còrdadh seo ris-san? Nam biodh esan an seo, an dèanadh esan mar seo e? Saoil am moladh e mi? Saoil a bheil e toilichte leam?” Rudan mar sin, sin na seòrsa cheistean, ach cha b’ urrainn dhomh freagairt sam bith fhaighinn.
[Anna NicLeòid] Is dè fhuair thu às an leabhar a tha sin ma-thà?
[Iain Urchardan] Seo an leabhar a rinn cuideachadh dhòmhsa a chionn fhuair mi a-mach, son a’ chiad uair, gu bheil e ceart gu leòr na ceistean seo a bhith agad. Agus cuideachd na faireachdainnean agus an cràdh, agus fiù ’s na deòir a’ leigeil às nuair a tha thu a’ caoidh. Bha mise ga ainmeachadh mar tholl, ach John Eldredge, ’s e sìc-eòlaiche a th’ ann agus thuirt esan gur e lot a th’ ann air an taobh a-staigh agus gu feum daoine a bhith onarach mu dheidhinn agus a bhith fìor mu dheidhinn cò iad dhà-rìribh. Agus rud a bha gu math inntinneach, bha e ag ràdh gu bheil fireanntas uabhasach, uabhasach cudromach do bhalach, gu bheil thu a’ faighinn fireanntas o d’ athair mar gum b’e. Bha mise uabhasach fortanach anns Na Hearadh a chionn oir bha màthair air leth agam, so fhuair mi boireanntas gu leòr agus ann an dòigh bha dithis mhàthraichean agamsa, bha piuthar mo mhàthar, Mòrag Bheag, bha i cho math dhomhsa agus gun robh i dìreach fiadhaich fhèin. ’S bha dithis pheathraichean agam. Ach bha mi a’ faireachdainn gu làidir gun robh mi ag iarraidh rudeigin a bharrachd.
Chaidh am prògram seo, Leugh Mi, a chraoladh an toiseach ann an 2015.
[Anna MacLeod] I’ll bet that Ballet Shoes was very different from the upbringing that you had?
[John Urquhart] We had Argyll boots on when I was wee.
[Anna MacLeod] The days you bothered with boots.
[John Urquhart] That’s it! Totally different, I must say. I was brought up in Borve at first, a wee village on the west side of Harris in The Bays. There was not a main road in. There were no electric lights. Water didn’t run through a pipe. We would have to go to the well and as such, it was very, very different from the big city of Dublin.
[Anna MacLeod] And what sort of hobbies did you have?
[John Urquhart] I would drive my mother out of her mind all the time, I would go to play at rivers, I would go down to the shore to the coves and splash about like that all the time, everywhere where I should not have gone, I would go.
[Anna MacLeod] With regards to reading now, did you have an interest in reading at that time?
[John Urquhart] I had no interest in reading at all. The only things I would say that I would read is magazine with pictures in them. If they didn’t have pictures, it was not going to do a lot for me. Words on their own were too plain and as such I would read the magazines that were there for boys like Commando and Victor and things like that. You know? I wanted to be a hero, and I wanted to see what a hero’s life was like.
[Anna MacLeod] But stories were important although you weren’t reading, there were those magazines, but local stories were important to you too, weren’t they?
[John Urquhart] That is true. That is the medium to which stories came to me through folklore. That way was very much alive where I was brought up and I really liked it when people would tell the stories.
[Anna MacLeod] As such, you had plenty of hobbies with regards to hearing the stories. What is the first book that you have chosen for us tonight? What is the first book that you are going to show us?
[John Urquhart] I have chosen this one called Wild at Heart written by a man from Canada, John Eldredge.
[Anna MacLeod] And you have a personal reason for bringing in this book, don’t you?
[John Urquhart] Yes, that’s true. This book was awfully, awfully important to me because I lost my father when I was two years old. And I felt that big hole from my first understanding that I had loss him but I was scared to say anything to people around me about this hole. You would look kind of soft. And as such in that awfully Highland way, I concealed that this hole was inside me and, I would pretend that everything was as good as it could be. But I know that time-after-time as a wee boy I thought things like “I wonder if he would like this? If he was here, would he do it like this? I wonder if he would praise me? I wonder if he is happy with me?”. Things like that, that’s the sort of questions, but I could not get any answer.
[Anna MacLeod] And what did you get from that book then?
[John Urquhart] This is the book that helped me since I found out, for the first time, that it was alright to have these questions. And also the feelings and the anguish and even to let the tears out when you are mourning. I recognised it as a hole, but John Eldredge, he’s a psychologist and he said that it is a wound on the inside and that people must be honest about it and be true about who they truly are. And something that was very interesting, he said that masculinity is awfully, awfully important to a boy, that you get masculinity from your father as it was. I was awfully fortunate in Harris as I had an exceptional mother, so I had plenty of femininity and in a way I had two mothers, there was my auntie, Wee Morag, she was so good to me and she was just wild. And I had two sisters. But I strongly felt that I wanted something else.
This programme, Leugh Mi, was first broadcast in 2015.
[Anna NicLeòid] Cuiridh mi geall gun robh Ballet Shoes gu math eadar-dhealaichte bhon an togail a fhuair thusa?
[Iain Urchardan] Bòtannan Argyll a bha oirnne nuair a bha mise beag.
[Anna NicLeòid] Na làithean a bhodraig thu le bòtannan.
[Iain Urchardan] Sin e! Gu tur eadar-dhealaichte, dh’fheumainn a ràdh. Thogadh mise ann an Burgh an toiseach, baile beag air taobh sear Na Hearadh anns Na Bàigh. Cha robh rathad mòr a-steach ann. Cha robh solais an dealain ann. Cha robh uisge a’ ruith tro phìob. Dh’fheumamaid a’ dol dhan an tobar agus mar sin, bha e gu math, gu math eadar-dhealaichte bhon a’ bhaile-mhòr Àtha Cliath.
[Anna NicLeòid] Agus dè seòrsa cur-seachadan a bh’ agad?
[Iain Urchardan] Bhithinn-sa a’ cur mo mhàthar às a ciall fad na h-ùine, bhithinn a’ dol a chluiche aig aibhnichean, bhithinn a’ dol sìos chun a’ chladaich gu na geodhannan agus a’ plubadaich mun cuairt mar sin fad na h-ùine, a h-uile h-àite far nach bu chòir dhomh dhol, bhithinn-sa a’ dol.
[Anna NicLeòid] A thaobh a bhith a’ leughadh a-nise, an robh ùidh ann a bhith a’ leughadh an uair ud?
[Iain Urchardan] Cha robh ùidh agam-sa ann an leughadh idir. Na h-aon rudan a chanainn a bhithinn a’ leughadh ’s e irisean le dealbhan annta. Mur a biodh dealbhan annta, cha robh e a’ dol a dhèanamh cus feum dhòmhsa, bha faclan leotha fhèin ro lom agus mar sin, bhithinn-sa leughadh nan irisean a bhiodh ann airson balaich mar Commando agus Victor ’s rudan mar sin. Eil fhios agad? Bha mi ag iarraidh a bhith nam ghaisgeach, ’s bha mi ag iarraidh faicinn cò ris a bha beatha a’ ghaisgich coltach.
[Anna NicLeòid] Ach bha sgeulachdan cudromach ged nach robh thu a’ leughadh, bha na h-irisean a bha sin, ach bha sgeulachdan ionadail cudromach dhut cuideachd, nach robh?
[Iain Urchardan] Tha sin fìor, sin an riochd anns an tig na sgeulachdan thugamsa tro bheul-aithris. Bha an dòigh sin fhathast gu math beò far an do thogadh mise agus bu toigh leam eagalach nuair a bha daoine ag innse nan sgeulachdan.
[Anna NicLeòid] Mar sin dheth, bha cur-seachadan gu leòr a thaobh a bhith a’ cluinntinn nan sgeulachdan. Dè a’ chiad leabhar a tha thusa air taghadh dhuinn a-nochd? Dè a’ chiad leabhar a tha thu a’ dol a shealltainn dhuinn?
[Iain Urchardan] Tha mise air fear a thaghadh ann an seo leis an ainm Wild at Heart sgrìobhte le fear à Canada, John Eldredge.
[Anna NicLeòid] ’S tha adhbhar pearsanta agad airson an leabhar a tha sin a thoirt a-steach, nach eil?
[Iain Urchardan] Tha, tha sin fìor. Bha an leabhar seo uabhasach, uabhasach cudromach dhòmhsa a chionn ’s gun do chaill mi m’ athair nuair a bha mi dà bhliadhna a dh’ aois. Agus dh’fhairich mise an toll mòr a bha sin on a’ chiad thuigse a bh’ agam gun robh mi air a chall ach bha an t-eagal orm guth a chantainn ri daoine timcheall orm mu dheidhinn an tuill a bha seo. Bhiodh tu a’ coimhead caran bog. Agus mar sin anns an dòigh uabhasach Gàidhealach, chleith mi gun robh an toll seo na mo bhroinn agus, bhithinn a’ cur ìomhaigh orm gun robh a h-uile càil cho dòigheil ‘s a ghabhadh a bhith. Ach tha fios a’m gun robh mi uair an dèidh uair an dèidh uair nam bhalachan a’ smaoineachadh rudan mar “Saoil an còrdadh seo ris-san? Nam biodh esan an seo, an dèanadh esan mar seo e? Saoil am moladh e mi? Saoil a bheil e toilichte leam?” Rudan mar sin, sin na seòrsa cheistean, ach cha b’ urrainn dhomh freagairt sam bith fhaighinn.
[Anna NicLeòid] Is dè fhuair thu às an leabhar a tha sin ma-thà?
[Iain Urchardan] Seo an leabhar a rinn cuideachadh dhòmhsa a chionn fhuair mi a-mach, son a’ chiad uair, gu bheil e ceart gu leòr na ceistean seo a bhith agad. Agus cuideachd na faireachdainnean agus an cràdh, agus fiù ’s na deòir a’ leigeil às nuair a tha thu a’ caoidh. Bha mise ga ainmeachadh mar tholl, ach John Eldredge, ’s e sìc-eòlaiche a th’ ann agus thuirt esan gur e lot a th’ ann air an taobh a-staigh agus gu feum daoine a bhith onarach mu dheidhinn agus a bhith fìor mu dheidhinn cò iad dhà-rìribh. Agus rud a bha gu math inntinneach, bha e ag ràdh gu bheil fireanntas uabhasach, uabhasach cudromach do bhalach, gu bheil thu a’ faighinn fireanntas o d’ athair mar gum b’e. Bha mise uabhasach fortanach anns Na Hearadh a chionn oir bha màthair air leth agam, so fhuair mi boireanntas gu leòr agus ann an dòigh bha dithis mhàthraichean agamsa, bha piuthar mo mhàthar, Mòrag Bheag, bha i cho math dhomhsa agus gun robh i dìreach fiadhaich fhèin. ’S bha dithis pheathraichean agam. Ach bha mi a’ faireachdainn gu làidir gun robh mi ag iarraidh rudeigin a bharrachd.
Chaidh am prògram seo, Leugh Mi, a chraoladh an toiseach ann an 2015.
[Anna MacLeod] I’ll bet that Ballet Shoes was very different from the upbringing that you had?
[John Urquhart] We had Argyll boots on when I was wee.
[Anna MacLeod] The days you bothered with boots.
[John Urquhart] That’s it! Totally different, I must say. I was brought up in Borve at first, a wee village on the west side of Harris in The Bays. There was not a main road in. There were no electric lights. Water didn’t run through a pipe. We would have to go to the well and as such, it was very, very different from the big city of Dublin.
[Anna MacLeod] And what sort of hobbies did you have?
[John Urquhart] I would drive my mother out of her mind all the time, I would go to play at rivers, I would go down to the shore to the coves and splash about like that all the time, everywhere where I should not have gone, I would go.
[Anna MacLeod] With regards to reading now, did you have an interest in reading at that time?
[John Urquhart] I had no interest in reading at all. The only things I would say that I would read is magazine with pictures in them. If they didn’t have pictures, it was not going to do a lot for me. Words on their own were too plain and as such I would read the magazines that were there for boys like Commando and Victor and things like that. You know? I wanted to be a hero, and I wanted to see what a hero’s life was like.
[Anna MacLeod] But stories were important although you weren’t reading, there were those magazines, but local stories were important to you too, weren’t they?
[John Urquhart] That is true. That is the medium to which stories came to me through folklore. That way was very much alive where I was brought up and I really liked it when people would tell the stories.
[Anna MacLeod] As such, you had plenty of hobbies with regards to hearing the stories. What is the first book that you have chosen for us tonight? What is the first book that you are going to show us?
[John Urquhart] I have chosen this one called Wild at Heart written by a man from Canada, John Eldredge.
[Anna MacLeod] And you have a personal reason for bringing in this book, don’t you?
[John Urquhart] Yes, that’s true. This book was awfully, awfully important to me because I lost my father when I was two years old. And I felt that big hole from my first understanding that I had loss him but I was scared to say anything to people around me about this hole. You would look kind of soft. And as such in that awfully Highland way, I concealed that this hole was inside me and, I would pretend that everything was as good as it could be. But I know that time-after-time as a wee boy I thought things like “I wonder if he would like this? If he was here, would he do it like this? I wonder if he would praise me? I wonder if he is happy with me?”. Things like that, that’s the sort of questions, but I could not get any answer.
[Anna MacLeod] And what did you get from that book then?
[John Urquhart] This is the book that helped me since I found out, for the first time, that it was alright to have these questions. And also the feelings and the anguish and even to let the tears out when you are mourning. I recognised it as a hole, but John Eldredge, he’s a psychologist and he said that it is a wound on the inside and that people must be honest about it and be true about who they truly are. And something that was very interesting, he said that masculinity is awfully, awfully important to a boy, that you get masculinity from your father as it was. I was awfully fortunate in Harris as I had an exceptional mother, so I had plenty of femininity and in a way I had two mothers, there was my auntie, Wee Morag, she was so good to me and she was just wild. And I had two sisters. But I strongly felt that I wanted something else.
This programme, Leugh Mi, was first broadcast in 2015.